for a Commencement Address (should I ever be asked to give one)
Dr. N. Burr Furlong (burr@artifex.org)
Students, teachers, parents and friends (we hope that these are not mutually exclusive categories):Perhaps you noticed as I was marching in with the procession that my position was behind that of the other Upper School teachers yet in front of my colleagues with administrative duties -- it appears that no one seems to want to associate with me. Actually, of course, I am where I am in the procession in recognition of the fact that I have a Ph.D. and thus, by long academic tradition, certified as unfit for the company of normal persons. This all may help to explain why I get along so well with your sons and daughters.
A sage once said (actually I made this up myself) that the kindest thing we can do for our friends is to outlive them and thus spare them the pain of our passing. This may be all well and good for one's contemporaries, but would seem to preclude making friends beyond one's generation in the name of kindness. In fact, not for this reason, but for others, mainly having to do with avoiding litigation, I was advised by several faculty members when I first came here to teach, to avoid at all costs treating students as friends. I thought this rather odd advice at the time and, I suppose it has been obvious that I haven't heeded the warning -- I enjoy a continued and mutually affectionate relationship with a number of my present and former students.
I hope that confessing the loveableness of your offspring inspires neither your rage nor jealousy. It occurred to me soon after beginning my tenure here at Kinkaid, it is a sad but true fact of reality that in some cases I spend more time conversing with your children than you do. Particularly in connection with being sponsor of the outdoor club or the chapperone for study trips, I get to know your chilldren better than you do in some ways. One of the most fascinating and gratifying aspects of my teaching experience has been getting to know these sons and daughters of yours -- these almost adults, these outwardly blase/inwardly quaking, seemingly disinterested/secretly curious, rebellious/dependent,
Since I as a teacher have mentioned the word affectionate in connection with students, I had better direct my next few remarks to perhaps apprehensive parents.